RELEASE THE CRACKEN...KRAKEN...

I've been too busy barfing to update this blog. I have thrown up rice, prenatals, quesadillas, candy, a tractor, some of Izzy's lost toys, and I found the exit strategy for Afghanistan but I threw up all over it.

During the last two weeks I've learned so much about puke. I used to cry when I threw up, and now I just try to talk as much as I can so I can hear my throw up voice. If you don't know your throw up voice, get in touch with your own index finger and make yourself puke. It is the funniest thing in the world and you can never duplicate it unless you are actually puking. I learned it on accident by yelling "WATERRRRRR" while puking, and I sounded like the Exorcist but only if the Exorcist was gurgling fire. It was AWESOME and it makes me laugh. So while I puke, I say things to myself. If you are ever in a restaurant bathroom and you hear vomit, followed by phrases that don't make sense and then giggles, say hi to me. It's like those people who talk while they burp to get cool burp words. Vomit words are one bajillion times crazier than burp words, and you're projecting something out of your body which makes a cooler effect. I have made a mental note to say "release the cracken" next time, and I know I want to say things about eating souls... I'll work on that. If anyone else has any suggesstions feel free. Vomit-voice is the upside to not keeping food down. And I don't think Matt's been more scared of anything in his life. I should record this.

Aside from the vomit, Matt thinks my boobs are bigger so that's cool. I crave everything sour, from Sour Patch Kids to Lemoade to Italian Ice to basically just pouring cat pee into my mouth. I just asked Matt "What's something sour but also disgusting" and that's what he suggested, so if you're wondering why I would think that's sour, take that up with him. He might have a childhood story for us in addition to "Booger wall".

I am constantly wondering what every little thing I do means as far as the sex of the baby. I've gotten morning sickness early = girl. I crave sour = boy. I did some test with a ring on a string and I got boy and girl = hermaphrodite.

Next Wednesday is my first ultrasound. Cross all your vaginas and penises that we do not have a hermaphrodite. Here's a picture or two!